


Lavender

by eorumverba



Series: timeline au [3]
Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:02:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8556643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eorumverba/pseuds/eorumverba
Summary: Kibum has given him a bouquet of lavenders.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: implied abuse

**Play**  
Kibum has given him a bouquet of lavenders.

Jonghyun immediately sends a snap to Taemin, him and his pretty pretty flowers, and Taemin replies quickly, with a little smiley face drawn in their hand. “Lavenders mean devotion,” the caption reads, and Jonghyun screenshots it to look at later.

It’s been three months, three months of absolute _perfection_ and Jonghyun loves Kibum, loves his Kibummie so much; the mere _thought_ of his boyfriend makes his heart stop from adoration and a tiny smile cross his lips. Each day, no matter how monotonous, is absolute heaven. He’ll wake up first and make breakfast for them both, make sure Kibum eats before he leaves for work, then he’ll nap or write lyrics or run errands, and when Kibum comes home, Jonghyun will make dinner and they’ll eat in the living room (sitting as close together as they can, Jonghyun curled up as small as possible), watch tv together until Jonghyun falls asleep, and then Kibum will always always _always_ pick him up and carry him to bed, tuck him in and leave a soft kiss to his cheek or forehead. Jonghyun always wakes up when Kibum moves him, but he pretends to still be asleep because he loves being babied so much. His favorite thing in the world, though, is when Kibum climbs into bed and drapes a protective arm over his waist, pulls him close and drops a goodnight kiss to the nape of his neck.

Jonghyun loves his Kibummie.

* * *

**Fast Forward**  
They’re on a date - or, Jonghyun thinks it’s a date.

It’s nothing special, they’re just feeding the ducks at the pond, but there’s something incredibly _romantic_ about it all. The way their hands brush when they reach for the bread at the same time, the sunset and the way Minho is _smiling_ , the way the sun warms his features, the quiet and the lack of people around…

(Jonghyun kind of really wants Minho to kiss him, to complete the moment)

Minho looks down at him then and something in his gaze softens, and as if he’d read Jonghyun’s thoughts, he cups Jonghyun’s cheek in one hand and draws him up for a chaste kiss. Jonghyun can practically _feel_ Minho’s love in the gesture.

Jonghyun laces their fingers together and lets Minho lead him home.

* * *

**Pause  
** Jonghyun thinks that he might be more than a little bit in love with Minho.

Of course, this isn’t nearly the first time he’s realized his feelings, but he’d always brushed it off as just a crush - fleeting feelings that came and went like the change of day. It was always the little things, the way Minho _smiled_ when he saw Roo, the little frown that crossed his lips as he concentrated on something, how he brushed his hair from his face when it grew too long but was too short to cut. Minho’s ticks made Jonghyun’s heart flutter in his chest, made his breath stop and his skin flush, but he always ignored it.

Because it was _Minho_ , because he couldn’t be in love with his best friend, because Minho didn’t love him.

Jonghyun doesn’t realize the _strength_ of his feelings until Minho knocks on his door when Kibum is in London. The doughnuts and coffee, the fact that he’d bothered to come at all, the warm weight of his arm and the solid familiarity of his body and his bed when they slept at night... 

Jonghyun’s heart soars when he realizes that he’s _in love_ with Minho.

And crashes to the ground with the sting in his cheek and the hollow disappointment on Kibum’s face.

* * *

**Play**  
Kibum has given him a bouquet of lavenders.

Jonghyun immediately sends a snap to Taemin, him and his pretty pretty flowers, and Taemin replies quickly, with a little frowny face drawn in their hand. “Lavenders mean distrust,” the caption reads, and Jonghyun screenshots it to look at later.

It’s been six months, three months of absolute _hell_ and Jonghyun still can’t bring himself to hate Kibum, after all he’s done; the mere _thought_ of his boyfriend makes his heart stop from fear and a tiny frown cross his lips. Each day, no matter how monotonous, is absolute hell. He’ll wake up first and make breakfast for them both, make sure Kibum eats before he leaves for work, then he’ll nap or write lyrics or run errands, and when Kibum comes home, Jonghyun will make dinner and they’ll eat in the living room (sitting on opposite ends of the couch, Jonghyun curled up as small as possible), watch tv together until Jonghyun pretends to fall asleep, and then Kibum will always always _always_ leave him there, get into bed himself. Jonghyun always freezes with fear when Kibum moves, and he pretends to still be asleep because at least then, Kibum won’t hit him. His least favorite thing in the world, though, is when Kibum climbs into bed and drapes a possessive arm over his waist, pulls him close and drops a goodnight kiss to the nape of his neck.

Jonghyun can’t hate his Kibummie.

* * *

**Rewind**  
“You’re so lovely and sweet, all mine, my Jonghyunnie,” Kibum mumbles into Jonghyun’s hair. Their fingers are intertwined as sit on the couch and Jonghyun ducks his head down, a flustered, pleased grin flirting with his lips. Kibum brings their hands up to his mouth and kisses each one of Jonghyun’s knuckles, turns Jonghyun to face him and kisses him gently, thumb stroking gentle, idle paths across the skin of Jonghyun’s cheek.

Jonghyun feels the breath leave his throat with how _happy_ he is, and when Kibum pulls away, he frowns. “Hey, no crying…” his thumb wipes away the wet on Jonghyun’s cheek and Jonghyun giggles through his tears.

“I’m just...I’m so _happy_ ,” he manages, “I’m happy and I love you so much and I never want this to end-”

“It doesn’t have to, Jonghyunnie, it won’t.”

“Promise?” it’s breathless against Kibum’s lips and Kibum silences him with another kiss.

“Promise.”

* * *

**Skip**  
Kibum has been out drinking, and he’s absolutely furious when Jonghyun gets home an hour after he does. It’s almost 3am and Jonghyun freezes at the door.

“Where were you?”

Jonghyun’s mouth falls open a little, but he can’t speak, he’s terrified because of the way Kibum _looks_ , he’s never seen him like this before and he’s _scared_ -

“I _said, where_ -”

“I was with Minho!” Jonghyun manages to squeak out, and Kibum’s face darkens.

He stands and Jonghyun fights the urge to flee; it’ll only be worse when Kibum catches him.

Jonghyun kind of wishes he hadn’t come home, that he’d never met Kibum in the first place.

He still can’t hate Kibum.

(“Promise?” it’s breathless against Jonghyun’s lips and Kibum silences his gasp with another kiss, hand tight around his neck.)

“ _Promise_.”

* * *

**Stop**

Minho soothes the bruises with countless featherlight kisses and quiet affirmation that it isn’t Jonghyun’s fault, that he’s not all the things Kibum had said he is. Minho doesn’t laugh when Jonghyun flinches at the smallest things, doesn’t press him or speak too loudly, doesn’t move too quickly and always announces his presence so as to not startle Jonghyun too harshly.

Minho doesn’t rush Jonghyun into another relationship, even though they both know their feelings are mutual, doesn’t guilt him into doing anything he doesn’t want to do. He _listens_ , lets Jonghyun cry on him, makes him whatever food he wants and _indulges_ him.

It takes a while, but eventually, Jonghyun realizes that he’s better: that he doesn’t feel the need to lock his bedroom door, that he’s okay with letting Minho kiss him, that he can share Minho’s bed and not grow rigid and still and quiet. There are days, yes but Minho is _there_ for him when he needs it and gives him space when he needs _that_.

Jonghyun is so, so in love with Minho, and for once, he doesn’t mind.

“Don’t go anywhere, don’t leave me.” Jonghyun ducks his head into Minho’s neck so he won’t see the tears that are threatening to build up with the _emotion_ he’s feeling.

Minho’s hands come up to pull him closer, and a quiet affirmation, a wordless hum that Jonghyun knows means _yes_.

“Promise?” It’s breathless against the skin of Minho’s neck and Minho cups Jonghyun’s face in both hands for a gentle, barely-there kiss.

“ _Promise_.”


End file.
